Who Needs Rechargeable Batteries When You Have...

There is nothing like working in the restaurant industry to make you doubt the sanity and rationalizing abilities of our species. 

Like yesterday, when I had a woman ask for a new wine glass because her glass smelled funny.  Let me repeat that.  The GLASS SMELLED FUNNY.  The wine was fine, but man that cup had to go. 

It takes a certain type of crazy to deal with people like that.  Luckily I seem to have it covered. 

But there are days where I don't want to laugh it off or see the humor behind the ridiculousness of it all.  Some days I really just want to look at someone and say "ARE YOU SERIOUS?"  I'm sure it has something to do with dealing with people who are in one of the richest counties in the country, I'm sure they're nicer ones out there.  But here, dear lord.  I understand you're privileged and are used to getting everything you want and everyone normally does whatever you want at a drop of a hat but have we forgotten common decency?  I don't care that you and your wife obviously hate each other, or that your kids are so spoiled they can't even hear you over the sound of their whining, or that someone botched up your frown lines, or that your roots are showing, or the wifi on your phone is down for 5 seconds, or that the store was out of your dog's gluten free organic all natural treats, etc etc etc!

I'm not angry, really.  I'm disappointed.  Some days I really just wish there was more to our society, especially the ones that are so blessed. 

Then I come home.  And the world feels right again.  C is telling me I'm a crazy woman and asking God why he's surrounded by crazy women, his mother is talking loudly at him in Spanish repeatedly telling him to listen to her, Conor is throwing himself at everyone, screeching, trying to start some wild fun that involves somebody chasing him, laughing hilariously once someone gives in and runs around with him, and I'm ranting and raving about everything under the sun. 

Ahhh.  Sanity.

My health insurance kicks in soon.  I'm super excited to be able to break a bone or crack a rib at any given time. 

I also got a case for my iPhone finally.  It's hardcore too, later if things get really crazy up in here I might tie it to the back of Conor's Thomas the Engine Train or throw it against the wall or perhaps just dunk it in a toilet bowl to check if it's waterproof too. 

I feel like a grown up, what with all this preventative shit I'm doing.  Who knows, maybe I'll even start buying batteries in bulk in case flashlights everywhere go out in the middle of a black out.

Oh wait...done! 

Well not for that reason, more because of buying a bunch of Christmas toys that needed batteries and forgetting to purchase them.  Rookie mistake.  But with this bulk package it's one I won't make again for at least 11 years.

I'm exhausted.  This month has kicked my ass.  Wake me up when January is here and something really fun that doesn't drain all my energy happens. 

Oh...that's not how adulthood works?  Damn.

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Tags: humor, parenting, waitressing, work

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