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OUR DAILY PINS

What do you do when the mommy urge comes back?

So... My first husband and I actually went to the same high school together. We started dating when I was 17. We got married when I was 19. I'm 32 now. Our oldest daughter is soon to be 12. Our younger daughter is 9.

I simply am not the girl I was when I was a teenager. I've changed, a lot. I've learned a lot as well. My husband and I grew apart. We get along very amicably and have a working arrangement for our girls.

Lately, I've been feeling the missing part of being a mommy. I know part of it is not seeing my girls as much. Part of it is probably my 30s something biological clock telling me it might be getting too late for me to have anymore children.

Is 12 and 9 too much older for a sibling?

When do you know that having another baby is something you actually want or it's just a wierd hormonal thing going on?

My first husband had a vasectomy. So having more children wasn't an option. But, it's definitely an option now.

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Comment by Rachel Arndt on October 9, 2009 at 9:55pm
Hi! You may worry about your children being too old, but they will love their sibling just as much as you love the baby. They will be great helpers and the older "wiser" sibling. It may feel like they are more of a friend or even parent if they baby sitt a lot, true. But they will love that baby and bond with him/her just as much as you.

My sister-in-law has a similar situation, where she loved having babies and had two girls first in her mid twenties. She went on to have two more boys but because of rare genetic disorders that get passed on to the boys, they both passed in early infancy. Not one to be daunted or put off by such huge challenges, they had one more child, a boy, and he is a healthy 4 year old, while his older sisters are now 12 and 14.

And let me tell you, they are like mother hens with that boy. He is greatly cherished and loved (spoiled, but eh) and their lives are more complete because of him. He has filled a void to heal the family hurts and tragedies, but of course it worked out for their situation. I know she wants another, but is fast approaching 40 and has finally accepted she will not have another.

That strange yearning is so strong, because I too want another child but put it off because I get severely sick, daycare is expensive, and I don't have the energy to go back to midnight feedings and diapers.

So look within, do a little soul searching and really decide if this is what you want, or if it's really all just urges because you feel your getting "old." You should always be content with what you have too, because some people aren't so lucky.

Good luck with your decisions:)

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