** The first week of back-to-school mornings are nuttier than squirrel poop.
** Nobody appreciates bedtime more than a parent.
** Mom guilt sucker punches me on a daily basis.
** But, hey, at least my daughter's not twerking on national television!!!
** Messes and bad luck follow me around like a lost puppy.
** Naps -- they do a body good.
** Just because it's a locker room does not mean you have to do your WHOLE get-ready routine in the nude.
** Overreacting to every little thing just makes everyone around you bat shit crazy.
** I wish I got paid for all the procrastinating I do.
** Satan can take his weather back any day now. Cause I'm over it, thank you very much.
** If I could find a big enough bubble, I'd be putting my kids right into it right now.
** Despite what I might think, God does not give me more than I can handle.
SO WHAT DID YOU LEARN THIS WEEK???? >>