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How to Turn Mommy Envy into Mommy Motivation

Mommy Marvel

Truth be told, I feel a teensy-eensy-weeeeensy bit of mommy envy.  And, it all started before I even became a mommy.

Type-B readers, close your eyes:  I'm a lover of all things scheduled, predictable, timely, nonspontaneous, and, well, grammatically correct.  I call this safe; my husband calls it boring. But, I absolutely thrive on the prudent path.  I am your typical "good girl."  I've never even tried smoking a cigarette.  Not.  Even. Once.

Growing up in such an over-achieving family didn't help.  It made me an over over-achiever.  No big deal for my family was straight-A's and varsity (all 4 years, mind you) -- it was our normal.  So to stand out, and feel like I could make my parents proud, I had to go above and beyond the normal -- and that's why I became obsessed with getting things -- anything really -- done first and best.  My normal was always being on top, in front, or stepping on somebody else.  

But then I met Amy -- a modern day Mommy Marvel.  Amy stopped me dead in my tracts.  She was me, but better.  

I first met Amy when I switched (upgraded) dental offices in 2011. I went from working in the slums of an HMO office, to a beautiful dental spa in Saratoga.  The DDS scheduled a staff BBQ -- and that's when we first met.  A cute, sweet blonde girl with an outrageously perfect updo and complimentary (handmade) bow in her hair introduced herself to me, offering me her homemade crushed pretzel jello salad (the EXACT one my mother makes every year on Christmas night; the EXACT one I've never seen anywhere else).  I instantly was drawn to her.

Throughout the next year of working together, we bonded.  She was so much like me -- scheduled, predictable, timely, educated, but even more.  She is the modern day June Cleaver -- a master of all things domestic.  It's hard not to feel envious of someone who is able to do it all so gracefully and beautifully -- sewing, decorating, cooking, baking, cleaning, etc.  To sum it up, making a homemade chicken pot pie (including the dough from scratch), is frivolously "throwing something together" for dinner.  


At the tail end of 2011, I learned that I was pregnant with Livia, and three months later, Amy learned she was pregnant with her daughter, Elle.  We were able to go through our first pregnancies together -- bonding over weight gain, nursery schemes, and leaving the 'dental spa' for a more mommy-friendly environment. Unfortunately, Amy ended up moving a couple hours away after Elle was born, but we still keep in touch via Facebook, email, and we recently had a mini-reunion.  And, no surprise, I still am in awe of her being.  

Point being?  I think it's actually a good thing to have a 
teensy-eensy-weeeeensy bit of mommy envy.  I believe that envy is a motivating factor that can be positively turned into emulation. If we don't let it turn into a big, green monster, envy can make us better women.  I think it's made me a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.  Her accomplishments in the domestic world have motivated me to manage and perform more in my own domestic sphere.  Since knowing Amy, I've learned how to sew, craft out of fabric scraps, use baking flour (I never stored flour at my house until she gave me some for a wedding gift -- she couldn't believe that I never made dough from scratch!!), and I've created this blog!   Maybe I can be a Mommy Marvel, too.

For more about Amy, visit her blog here, or check out herfacebook page.  Maybe she'll inspire you, too!
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(From Left to Right: Mandy, Amy & Me) Special Note: Notice Amy's updo and bow!
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(From Left to Right: Dr. Pagonis, Mandy, Amy, & Me at Amy's GoodBye Lunch) Again: Notice Amy's updo and bow!

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