Being a single mom living with my parents is wearing on me. I know I will get used to it but I get lonely, especially when i am PMSing. (which duh, is normal anway) This is not how I dreamed it. i wanted to have a baby with a man who would love me until the end of time. i wanted to put the baby down at night and stay up watching movies and cuddling with my hubby. I miss sleeping with someone at night, i miss the warmth. I feel like the dating scene will be so much more complicated and i know it will. I just do not know how everything will work out. i dont know if I will be able to trust another man with her. There are a few guys I actually would leave her with and not worry about it. I don't know there are so many what ifs now, I am a plans person, not a what ifs person. It makes me nervous.
Everyday I am learning new things. Everyday I am dealing with new situations. I just want to finish school and get out of my parents house. I want to get on with my life and be okay. I need alone time. I never get alone time. After i put the baby to bed I have to hang out in the family room with my dad. ugh. or sleep.
This thursday should be good for me Sydney is staying at her fathers for the first time and I am going out with my friends. Hopefully everything will go as planned.