3 Type of Negative Comments & How to Deal With Them

Okay, so if you are friends with me on Facebook then you know that today I received a negative comment on Reddit. 


This lead me to try to figure out how best to respond to negative comments. In this post, after I get my little vent out, I am going to let you know what I found in my research (really just talking to other bloggers and friends) and my own thoughts on the issue.


MY VENT ON THE NEGATIVE COMMENT TO ME:

Usually, I wouldn't let this bother me. I already had a talk with myself before I started this whole blogging thing and said, "not everyone will like what you write and that is okay".

Unfortunately, what I wasn't prepared for was for someone to criticize and pick on my child's name, going so far as to "shudder" and say that I "saddled" them with a name that would cause issues when they tried to find a job.

First off...Emalee is not a strange name...it is spelled a little bit different but in my opinion it's not awkward or bad.

Whether the person meant to or not, they really hurt my feelings. This is a name I have wanted to name my child for years and I was very happy when my husband agreed. Of course this comment lead me to question if I had messed up. Will she have issues because of her name? Will she be picked on for it? Will she hate me later? So many USELESS questions brought up by one viscous comment.

VENT COMPLETE!

Now for what you really came here to read:

We put our heart and souls into our blogs. I know of several people that think of them as another baby, and heck if you think about it we really do spend a whole lot of time focusing on them and making them better.

There are so many different types of blogs out there: Mommy, Saving, Disease, Humor, the list could go on forever and that doesn't include the ones that mix it up and have several things on one site. Sadly, no matter what form of blog you have...you can't please everyone.

Choosing to blog is a personal decision that you make. The hard part is remembering that just because you write something and 999 people adore it...there will ALWAYS be that 1 person that doesn't. A lot of people that don't like your post will do the kind, and right, thing and just  not comment at all. However, there is always that one jerk that comments....so what do you do?

How to deal with negative comments!

First I feel that it is important to point out the difference in a negative comment and constructive criticism.

If something is said with the intent to HELP you do better and is said in a kind helpful manner it is most likely constructive criticism. However, some people aren't very good at giving criticism and some aren't good at getting it.

My rule for constructive criticism for others blogs is that if there is a way to give it privately...DO! You don't have to call the person out on something for the entire world to see.

I have had someone message me letting me know that I used the wrong word in one of my posts. Honestly, I had no clue I did it! When you write and edit things with two kids screaming and running around vying for attention you make mistakes! We all do, it didn't bother me one bit to get that message. I appreciated it! I knew that she actually read my post and liked it enough to let me know. 


What she did is constructive criticism, the good way :)

The same advice could have been given in a negative comment kind of way:

Just an example: OH MY GOSH! Do you not know the difference between those two words? How dumb are you? Who would read this?"

It give the same information right? I still know that I messed up, but now, if I let it get to me, I am upset.

Inevitably, we will all have to deal with negative comments at some point in our blogging career. Here are a few ideas on how to deal with different types of comments.

1. A comment blaming you for "wasting their time". The Garbage Man

  • Explanation of Nickname: All they are doing is talking trash and wasting space. Much like garbage does :)
  • Sadly this type of comment is common. People often seem to think that you set out to "waste their time". Most of these kinds of comments come about when a person finishes reading and thinks "what was the point of that"? Sometimes the reason we write a post is simply to vent...the only thing to be gained from it is knowledge of the bloggers life or thoughts, if you're lucky it was entertaining at least. Some readers don't get this and get upset when they finish reading.
  • HOW TO DEAL WITH IT: My advice is to ignore it. I wouldn't respond in any way to this type of comment. In my opinion it would just cause more negativity.

 

2. An insulting comment. The Weakling

  • Explanation of Nickname: Most people that are leaving insulting comments do it anonymously! They don't have the balls to say something rude and you be able to trace it back to them! They are scared little people looking for attention. (Okay, so that may have come across rather mean...but well there is NO excuse for being insulting to others!)
  • Usually this type of comment has nothing to back up their claims that "your blog sucks" (etc.) and the person is just trying to get attention among the millions of others on the web. It's easier to get noticed by being mean than being kind.
  • HOW TO DEAL WITH IT: Again, I would ignore it. The only power these guys have over you is what you give them. Don't let them get to you! You can even delete the comment if you would like.

3. A comment stating that the reader is disappointed (in you or your blog). The Knight in Grimy Armor

  • Explanation of Nickname: We all want a knight in shinning armor to make things better when they go wrong. Unfortunately, this person is not it! They may even think they are being helpful.
  • These comments are often people "trying" to give constructive criticism but not realizing they are being mean instead. Kind of like my example above when I used the wrong word. Sometimes, these are people that want to prove that they are smarter than you or better than you in someway. It can be hard to tell which is the case. You don't want to be mean to someone that was really trying to be helpful.
  • HOW TO DEAL WITH IT: If they have pointed out a real and changeable mistake, respond something similar to, "Hey thanks for letting me know, I fixed it!". Just ignore their rudeness and shrug it off. If what they pointed out is indeed NOT wrong, just ignore the comment.

Now that you know some of the types of comments PLEASE COMMENT BELOW WITH MORE IF YOU HAVE THEM I bet your wondering if there are any more options when it comes to dealing with negative comments. Well, you're in luck! I have a few for you:

  • Use comment moderation! This is an easy one. You will still have to deal with reading these awful comments, but at least you don't have to worry about any of your other readers dealing with it. Especially if they are using inappropriate language.
  • Make sure that you have something in your Terms of Service about comments. This site has an amazing Terms of Service page with a sidebar that has "Plain Language"  to translate the technical legal babble that half of us don't understand anyways! I so want to do this!
  • Be prepared for negative comments. Don't think that you will never get them, sadly no matter how good your blog is, there is someone out there that is going to be rude. It may even just be a Troll and not a true commenter.

There are a few things I always recommend when it comes to responding to comments:

  • Take a deep breath and think before you press the publish button. "Is this response going to get me what I want? Is their comment worth my response?"
  • If you aren't sure what the issue is take the time to clarify what they are looking for. A lot of comments are vague, exaggerated, disrespectful with no examples. When it comes to these I recommend asking questions in order to figure out exactly what they didn't like. Remember that you can't fix something if you don't understand what is wrong.
  • Remember that not ALL comments require a response. I know we all like to interact with our readers through comments (it is one of my favorite parts of blogging), however, some comments just don't need a response. They may just need the delete button!
  • NEVER, EVER, EVER did I stress that enough post when angry or upset! Calm down first and then come back to it. You may view it in a different way than you did the first time you read it.
  • Be honest and respectful, even though they may not have been. This is an awesome chance to show your readers your true character. You don't want to run off other readers with how you deal with the negative.

Here is some feedback from three of my favorite blogs:

To be a good, relatable blogger, you have to be somewhat transparent. So you're putting yourself out there and unfortunately when you do, you open yourself up to let some negative in with the positive. It just comes w/the territory. Try not to focus on the 1 or 2 bad ones but all the great ones that you get.

Negative comments are easy always with grace and positive reply. People have the right to voice their opinion, Not all of our deals or post will please everyone. If its a negative comment on something we have posted. I usually say while not all of our posts may be your cup of tea. It's ok to skip anything you don't like or makes you uncomfortable. If someone is downright rude and you have commented and it continues. Depends on the topic. But ultimately we own and run our own pages as with a guest in your home ask them to leave.

I confronted my negative commenter/stalker directly by printing his name in a blog on negative people and their un PC-like actions. I am also keeping my comments setting on "authorize first".

If you enjoyed this post please check out our blog at Southern Mess Moms!!

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Tags: blogging, comments, help, how, negative, to

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