Lauren Markman's Blog (376)

Drinking from the garden hose

Every summer morning, my brother and I would look at the thermometer near the kitchen door. If the thermometer said it was 74 degrees outside, then we were allowed to wear shorts. It was a big deal.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 29, 2015 at 6:24am — No Comments

Paying for your future philosophy major

In college I had a roommate that was a history major. I have nothing against history. History is important; we learn from our past; it's good to remember where you've come from. However, her goal in life was to get a job working within airport administration. If you are wondering how a degree in history relates to that goal, then you are not alone.…



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Added by Lauren Markman on July 28, 2015 at 6:19am — No Comments

Dear Facebook friends: Is blue poop normal?

There is a moment in most modern parents' lives, when you will find that your parenting instincts fail you. It's not a happy moment and you certainly aren't ready for it, but there it is.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 27, 2015 at 6:25am — No Comments

Planning to outlast your partner

The other day I heard a comedian say that a successful marriage is when one partner gets to watch the other partner die first. Yes, that is pretty morbid, but it is also true: Marriage vows even state "til death do us part."…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 24, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

The going rate for the tooth fairy

I made the mistake of Googling the phrase "tooth fairy rates" the other day and I was frightened. Depending on the area of the country, some children are receiving anywhere from $5 - $13 per tooth.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 22, 2015 at 6:33am — 3 Comments

Can your marriage stand on one leg?

I am a flamingo. I am standing perfectly still in flamingo pose with one foot firmly rooted to the ground and the other balanced away from my body. I breathe in. I breathe out. I am calm and pleased by my ability to stay so centered.…



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Added by Lauren Markman on July 21, 2015 at 6:28am — No Comments

You are in trouble - go watch television

My son loves to travel. He likes car activities, gets excited about homemade trail mix and hotels are the best thing ever. Except for the television. He hates hotel television: Mommy never knows the channels, there are commercials and he can't request shows to watch. I tried telling him that hotel TV is the way all television used to be. He doesn't believe me, but I tell him anyway.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 20, 2015 at 6:37am — No Comments

And from the backseat, I hear, "huh?"

I am putting dinner on the table and call my son to the meal. From upstairs, I hear him respond, "huh?"



We are in the pasta aisle at the store and I ask my son what type of noodles we should get. He looks up at me from the cart and says, "huh?"…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 17, 2015 at 6:27am — No Comments

How old are you really?

A few months ago, a couple of coworkers were trying to figure out my age. Eventually, one of them just came out and asked me. Several of them thought I was significantly younger than I actually am. I know this is not because of the way I look (I think I look my age), but rather because of the energy level that I have.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 15, 2015 at 6:31am — No Comments

We are not good with words

Once upon a time, I read 100 books in a year. And I loved it. (Seriously. Try it.) Right now I am having my son read a book every night.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 14, 2015 at 6:40am — No Comments

Why I carry a large purse

We are at a restaurant. We have just placed our order and my son is not interested in the activities on the children's menu. There is only one solution: The cards in Mommy's purse.



For the record, I carry two sets of cards in my purse. There is a regular deck, which we've never actually used, and an UNO deck…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 13, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

The case for more home economics classes

Like many people, once I established my own home away from my parents and started my own job, I started to think about how my education had failed me. Yes, I had many years of dedicated schooling around math and science and communications, but some basics alluded me. I knew how to cook, for example, (thanks, Mom!), but I didn't know how to use a drill (I should have taken shop class). I could balance my checkbook, but didn't have the…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 10, 2015 at 6:50am — 2 Comments

The many tests of marriage

Sometimes, younger unmarried women will ask me for relationship advice. I have been married to the love of my life for almost seven years, and we were together for 12 years before we got married. And so I am very honest when I talk about the tests of love.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 8, 2015 at 6:26am — 2 Comments

Staying inside the lines

Throughout college, I kept a secret. There was something that I liked to do to relieve stress, but only when my roommate wasn't around. (I didn't want her judging me.) But I often found myself around exams week taking a break from my studies and taking a few minutes out of my day to color.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 7, 2015 at 6:28am — No Comments

Do you really want a child prodigy?

I consider my son to be smart. He is a great reader, communicator, budding scientist and explorer. I love the way he tackles new topics that interest him, and I don't mind when he bails on subjects that bore him. He has that kind of crazy chaotic nature that all five-year-old boys display, but is able to focus on building with his Legos for hours.…



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Added by Lauren Markman on July 6, 2015 at 7:00am — No Comments

That time I got burnt by a sparkler

As the Fourth of July arrives, I am filled with childhood memories of summer: going to camp and catching fireflies, of riding bikes and when Dad fired up the grill because it was too hot for Mom to use the oven every night. I can even remember the one summer there was a lunar eclipse and I was allowed to stay up and watch it.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 3, 2015 at 6:43am — 2 Comments

You gotta stick with your lie

My son is not a good bluffer. Every time we play UNO, he lets out shouts of  "yes!" and "you guys are going down!" in reaction to the cards that he is dealt. And when I do catch him in a lie, he has at least a dozen little fidgety facial ticks and moves that gives him away.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on July 1, 2015 at 6:47am — 3 Comments

You give a little, you get a lot

Every Sunday morning, I give my son his allowance. He does a little song and dance he made up and races to his room to put the money into his three jars. So far, he's completely understood the purpose of his spend and save jars, but we haven't done much with his give jar. He knows that he has that jar in order to give back to the world, but we were…

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Added by Lauren Markman on June 30, 2015 at 6:32am — No Comments

As seen on TV: Doofus Dads

I know a lot of sitcoms from the 1980s: The Cosby Show, Growing Pains, Webster, Small Wonder, Whose the Boss?, My Two Dads, Diff'rent Strokes, Family Ties, The Wonder Years...there are a lot of them. Their theme songs get stuck in my head sometimes and I can recall a fair amount of the plot lines. I can also recall that they were fun for the whole family…

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Added by Lauren Markman on June 26, 2015 at 6:27am — 2 Comments

Expecting your children to make the grade

As mentioned before in this blog, my Mom told me that my job was to be a good student. She expected me to make excellent grades, and she was clear on her expectations. (Not Tiger Mother level of expectations, but her point was clear.) She told me I was smart; I believed her; I did well in school.…

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Added by Lauren Markman on June 24, 2015 at 6:17am — No Comments

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